Mourning food...

An appointment was scheduled to meet with a bariatric doctor. Upon meeting her, we talked about options and possibilities. She scheduled me for a 12 week course that really explained the procedure and the changes my body would go through physically and emotionally. I learned real quick that it was definitely not the easy way out! During the course of the 12 weeks (as well as weeks after), I mourned food. Thanksgiving became "Fatsgiving" and everything I ate was a "last hurrah"...EVERYTHING! I ended up gaining weight during the classes. This caused some serious self doubt. Was I ready to give up my favorite foods? Was I ready to put my body through changes that will affect me the rest of my life? Was I ready to not be fat anymore? The answer to all of those was no. I was not ready at all. But the thing is, are we every truly ready to knowingly and willing flip our lives upside down and be strict with ourselves to better our lives? If you're human and honest with yourself, then the answer is probably no. At least not 100% ready.

Dieting is a piece of cake in comparison. (see what I did there?). With dieting, you know that you can eat a donut and it wont cause severe pain with possible diarrhea and vomiting. This is called dumping syndrome. You can read all about that here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gastric_dumping_syndrome but basically after surgery, too much sugar in the system can cause you to be sick. For someone who LOVES donuts, it's hard to think that I could potentially put my body through hell just to have one. Who know's if I'll even enjoy it at that point. So I really had to come to terms with letting go of this food. Lets face it, as delicious as donuts are, being about to run and play with my niece is more important to me.

It's a on going process, letting go of harmful foods. I'm still going through it. It is getting easier everyday as I prep myself for this change. Sometimes the struggle is real and I go to Bakers however the desire for this food is diminishing as I make healthier choices. Plus, I know it's not the end. I will be able to eat donuts again someday. The difference is, I'll be able to take one bite and be satisfied and not gorge myself on 3 of them in one sitting. It's all about learning to change the habits.

Getting started...

As most people know, I have struggled with weight my whole life. I have lost and gained large sums at once more than I care to mention. If there's a diet out there, I've tried it. About 5 years ago, I lost the most weight at one time totaling out at 80 pounds. I thought that was it. I was on the right track and I was committed to living the healthy life. Guess what, I gained it all back 2 year later with an additional 20 pounds on top of that. Life happens. I went from walking up to 6 miles 4-5 times a week, hiking every weekend, working out at the gym, plus working on my feet all day to living a complete sedentary life. I started working an office job and within 5 months, I gained 40 pounds. I also sprained my ankle hiking one weekend. Little did I know, I would end up with permanent tissue damage in my ankle causing me issues for the last 5 years. It has been a huge hindrance in keeping a good work out regimen let alone doing average things like shopping for longer than an hour. 

Things took a turn in the right direction when I found out that my new health care covered bariatric surgeries. Never in a million years did I think I would get weight loss surgery; Matter of fact, I used to say it was the easy way out. But I worked with people who had surgery and started asking questions. The internet was also a great resource for me in deciding if it's something I would actually do. So I decided to go for it. I made an appointment to see a bariatric doctor. My life has not been the same since.